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Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    • Mack's Avatar
    • Mack
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    Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • I’m looking for a custom developed module that I can use on all my websites. It should be fairly easy to do and I think it would help many people with their websites. (Please note that I plan on releasing this custom module into the public domain as soon as it is finished and tested.)

      When a visitor arrives at any of my sites I need the module to detect what browser is being used. Upon detection I need it to do the following:

      1. If the browser is FF show them all the best my site has to offer.
      2. If the browser is any version of IE, have the module zap the crap out of the user and throw them across the room.
      3. While they are recovering from the initial shock and coming back across the room, I want the module to erase all traces of IE from the user’s computer, at the same time installing the latest version of FF on the computer.
      4. Make the install skin the new FF to look like IE so the user never knows it happened.
      5. Have the module return the user to step 1.

      I’d pay good money for this module. My price is negotiable.

      Email me @ This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
    • Dan L's Avatar
    • Dan L
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    Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Joe K's Avatar
    • Joe K
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    Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Firefox owns! IE, not so much!

      I am creating a site out of Vortex, it looks amazing in FF and it constantly crashes in IE. If I eliminate anything that scrolls, flashes, , or looks remotely interesting then IE seems to handle it ok. Also, Publishing anything in the inset position and it is lights out in IE.

      I hope to solve it this week after I finish taking a bunch of tests.

      I will gladly donate all money I make on this site towards the cost of your module.


      PS Of course, the fact that I don't charge for sites does not bode well for the completion of your module.
  • Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Hello Mack,

      Your idea sounds good.
      But at point 3, I think it's not a good way to install FF on the user's PC without his/her knowing. Furthermore, in my opinion, your script will be blocked by anti virus or something like anti spyware..

      Correct me if I am wrong

      Thank you

      Best Regards,

      Arifin FinLy
  • Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Arifin,

      I'm in NY, and we have this bridge here that I'd like to sell you. I'll give you a good deal.
  • Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Donna Vincent wrote:
      Arifin,

      I'm in NY, and we have this bridge here that I'd like to sell you. I'll give you a good deal.


      Hello Donna,

      Maybe you mean Mark :D
      Hehe

      What bridge did you mean ?

      Best Regards,

      Arifin FinLy
  • Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • No, I mean you, Arifin -- I want to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge! It's an old joke -- see Wikipedia:
      References to "selling the Brooklyn Bridge" abound in American culture, sometimes as examples of rural gullibility but more often in connection with an idea that strains credulity. For example, "If you believe that, I have a wonderful bargain for you…"
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooklyn_Bridge

      I don't think you realized that Mack's post was a joke, b/c you were discussing how to install FF on a user's computer. If you think that was for real, then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Get it ;)

      ;D
    • Mack's Avatar
    • Mack
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    Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Donna Vincent wrote:
      Arifin,

      I'm in NY, and we have this bridge here that I'd like to sell you. I'll give you a good deal.


      Which one? I'll have some extra money soon. Seems like the royal family in Nigeria needs my help with a secret deal. They are sending me a huge check and I'm sending them a box of cash. (Don't tell anyone, I'm making big $$$ from it)

      I hope I can afford the bridge.
  • Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Donna Vincent wrote:
      No, I mean you, Arifin -- I want to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge! It's an old joke -- see Wikipedia:
      References to "selling the Brooklyn Bridge" abound in American culture, sometimes as examples of rural gullibility but more often in connection with an idea that strains credulity. For example, "If you believe that, I have a wonderful bargain for you…"
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooklyn_Bridge

      I don't think you realized that Mack's post was a joke, b/c you were discussing how to install FF on a user's computer. If you think that was for real, then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Get it ;)

      ;D

      ;D ;D ;D
      Haha... You're right Donna. I thought he was serious ;D
      I learn new Amercian joke :D

      Thank you

      Best Regards,

      Arifin FinLy
    • Mack's Avatar
    • Mack
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    Re: Re: Need a custom module, will pay $$$ for programmer help

    Posted 17 years 9 months ago
    • Sorry Arifin, didn't mean it to be serious.

      I'm just getting so frustrated every time I add something unique to a site, something new, looks great and I like it. Then I fire up the browser testing to make sure it's OK and it usually blows up in IE.

      I'm getting to the point where I'm going to put a disclaimer in the header:

      "This site looks and runs great with Firefox. If something is broken, doesn't look right, doesn't function, it's your browser. Please upgrade your browser to Firefox. Trust me, you'll love it, and 10,000,000 webmasters will thank you."

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