Many of you may have seen the "supposed" Chuck Norris facts floating around the internet as of late. What is not widely known, is that these "facts" were originally attributed the all powerful Andy Miller. Sadly, they were changed to Chuck Norris at the last minute for fear that they would anger Andy. So I present, a few of the real "Andy Miller Facts", for I do not fear his wrath....maybe i should!
1. Guns don't kill people. Andy Miller kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Andy Miller allows to live.
3. Andy Miller does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Andy Miller is Pain.
5. Andy Miller has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
6. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Andy Miller 3. Cancer
7. Andy Miller drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
8. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Andy Miller.
9. Andy Miller doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
10. Andy Miller doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
11. Andy Miller counted to infinity - twice.
12. Andy Miller is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
13. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Andy Miller.
14. Andy Miller CAN believe it's not butter.
You may have heard similar ones, feel free to add them to this thread with the true beneficiary, Andy Miller, back in its rightful place for each fact. If you have some of your own, add those as well, no matter how outlandish...it's bound to be true!