EVER WONDER????
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- IDesign
- Hero Rocketeer
- Posts: 414
- Thanks: 0
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Okay my friends is time ti laugh again or at least put a smile on your faces:
DO YOU EVER WONDER????
• Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
• Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
• Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
• Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? - Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
• On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)
• On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
• On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
• On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."(...and you thought????...)
• On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate Machinery after taking this Medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
• On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....)
• On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
• On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) - Last Edit: 17 years 3 weeks ago by IDesign.
- You never have a second chance to make a first impression !
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- Andy Miller
- Preeminent Rocketeer
- Posts: 9919
- Thanks: 96
- Web Kahuna
- these are great, especally loved the lemon juice one for some reason.
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- Terp
- Elite Rocketeer
- Posts: 1720
- Thanks: 23
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...few more, given I have the bambino in bed, wife is upstairs, and waiting for my darn DNS to propogate and Rochen account to be setup.
Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
...and this one requires some serious 3D-math/chaos theory:
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
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