I don't know if you understood what I mean Dave. Why don't you speak french? It's more easy for me
In fact, I not found any solution for this problem. With JoGadgets, the content in the tabs are loaded first. In my case, all the images are loaded first... It's not good because the site is very slow to load! If you use videos in the tabs... well, I think your users must be very patients to wait the loading of the videos first and the tabs after... time to create white hair!
In my case, I can't do nothing but for you, I think the best solution is to use a faster mambot and another streaming format. You can create .flv videos and use XeVidWideMambo or another bot (free). Then your users can load the videos only if they want. I don't know if you will understand me. 4:10 am now, I speak english like my parrot, and I drunk a lot